Related to your topic: when I moved away from the more conservative areas of the southern United States to a more liberal area of the US I noticed that the private houses in the conservative areas had small common areas and large private areas. But the private houses in the more liberal areas have much larger common areas and smaller private areas.
Similarly I noticed the more liberal northern areas of the US have more and larger common areas in public too.
Almost makes me wonder which comes first the general attitudes or the architecture.
Interesting observation thanks for sharing! I have only lived in the Northeast US and the furthest "South" I have ever visited was briefly in Greensboro, North Carolina.
I wonder if the design of spaces in Northern vs Southern US you noticed subconsciously reflects a "grass is greener in the other side" attitude (i.e. we value family but my gosh we are suffocated and need space to ourselves or we prioritize individuals but my gosh it is so lonely). I have observed at least in the Northeast that despite hyper-individualism, there is a strong sense of civic participation (as is the case in democracies, even if they are only so in writing) so I wonder if the larger common areas reflect this. Or it could be worth looking at what we mean by "private" and at what level.
The UAE was traditionally a tribalistic society (as in the tribe is prioritized not only over the self but also over others) but this has in some ways shifted toward nationalism but there's still a dominant idea that one's family relationships are central and we need to protect the family's privacy and honor. So the traditional design emphasized privacy for the families from outsiders rather than privacy for individuals while having common spaces to connect with outsiders or at least extended family and family friends.
I have heard from Americans who grew up in the South (but correct me if I'm mistaken) that while hospitality is an important value in Southern culture, it can often be exclusive to particular groups of people.
All this has me reflect that dividing up cultures as "individualistic versus collectivistic" is overly simplistic.
Yes, I agree with you- it is overly simplistic to say individualistic/collectivist. But one starts somewhere to try to grapple with topics like this.
My experience of living in the US South was that the hospitality was only on the surface and often fake. Behind the veneer was an unspoken "now you'll owe me" covering whatever the interaction was. The so called hospitality was never about the needs of the guest but instead about what the host would get from the transaction.
I called the Southern US a "guess culture" because people would do things in the name of hospitality- often obviously reluctantly-and if you didn't read their minds correctly and return the hospitality in the way they - unspokenly - expected you to do there likely would be serious social consequences. But if you directly asked what they wanted in return- they'd get offended at that too.
And yes, certain groups of people are simply never ever accepted in the South. Non-English speakers aren't welcome for example.
In the Northern US I find things are much more direct. People's hospitality is more genuine and if they can't accommodate you they'll say so if they expect something in return they'll say so. There is more acceptance of many more kinds of people. Many different languages are spoken and are welcome in my Northern city for example.
The sense of personal space is also different in different parts of the US : in a cafe in the South someone will put packages, coats, hats on other chairs - sometimes using 3 chairs for one person's self and belongings. Here in a cafe in the North people contain self, coat, packages, hats on or under the chair in which they sit.
The use of space and the interactions within space is so different... I see the Southern US as (over simplifying again) more individualistic in the "I don't have to consider others around me" sense. The Northern US as (over simplifying again) in the "I need to consider others around me" sense.
I see this reflected in the architecture and the city design...and even in the road signs.
Interesting insights! I once ran into a research paper about loneliness/social isolation and how people perceive the extent to which their culture is egalitarian versus authoritarian and individualistic versus collectivistic (again also based on the respondents' perceptions of their cultures). It found that those who perceived their culture as egalitarian had the less loneliness compared to those who perceived their cultures to be either authoritarian collectivistic or authoritarian individualistic. But those who perceived their culture as egalitarian collectivistic had lower loneliness than those that perceived them as egalitarian individualistic. So I think the egalitarian aspect has people look outside of the boundaries of either individuals or particular groups even if one tends to lean towards the individual or collective which has me wonder about if that is what you named in your observations. Also, maybe it is about how "bounded" is the individual or collective being seen: does the collective include all humans or only particular groups and stops there? Does the individual include only self or respect for fellow individual selves one comes in contact with?
One thing I do slightly disagree with you having lived as a non-American of non-European descent in the Northeast is that while people seemed to be more verbally accepting of others than what I have heard about the South, systemically this was not necessarily the case (Boston was ranked as the nations most systemically racist in one year I believe)
Yes, I totally agree with you here too. All of the United States still has work to be done when it comes to being truly accepting of all people no matter their heritage or circumstances. The North also still has work to do on being accepting of women, disabled, elderly, LGBTQ etc. My experience in the Southern US was so much worse (about ethnicity, ability and gender) that the North, while not perfect seems much better by comparison. And that's not good enough.
I wish for a much more egalitarian society and that begins with changing the behavior of individuals ... and also changing the societal expectations placed on the individuals. It seems interrelated. If a society says "hate is not okay" the individual behaviors sometimes modify accordingly. In the North I think there's more pressure to at least appear more accepting of all kinds of people. In the South I saw more open pressure to join hate groups. I found that the dumbest thing in the South - the willingness of some to begin to hate people only because someone else told them to hate as a prerequisite to themselves being accepted into a group.
Such pondering aside- I do hope your day today is pleasant. 💚
Yes, you say so very well exactly what I've been thinking and wondering about!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!! I too think the loneliness aspect does indeed depend on how tightly or loosely one defines ones self, culture etc. I wrote in my sketchbook (which I shared on my newsletter today) "beauty knows when to say enough - barbarism demands always "more" and is never satisfied." and I wonder if this perception of what is 'enough' is somewhat related to the perception of the boundaries of individual/collective.
All I know more certainly is that I'm personally happier living in a community that has a larger, more inclusive, definition of the collective and more acceptance of a variety of individuals.
Hmm I haven't thought of the link between "enough" and how tightly one is within oneself or collective...will ponder on this for a bit more. I want to assign a day in the week where I catch up with newsletters including yours. I have now reached my quota for number of subscriptions so I can prioritize more meaningfully engaging with writers/creators like you. Thank you for blessing my space with your observations and curiosity!
Where I live, the city is designed with tons of walkways which connects parks and neighborhoods. One can literally cross multiple cities in the entire metro just by walking or bicycle rides without risking their lives. This allows me to meet people in the walks and connect with nature.
Related to your topic: when I moved away from the more conservative areas of the southern United States to a more liberal area of the US I noticed that the private houses in the conservative areas had small common areas and large private areas. But the private houses in the more liberal areas have much larger common areas and smaller private areas.
Similarly I noticed the more liberal northern areas of the US have more and larger common areas in public too.
Almost makes me wonder which comes first the general attitudes or the architecture.
Interesting observation thanks for sharing! I have only lived in the Northeast US and the furthest "South" I have ever visited was briefly in Greensboro, North Carolina.
I wonder if the design of spaces in Northern vs Southern US you noticed subconsciously reflects a "grass is greener in the other side" attitude (i.e. we value family but my gosh we are suffocated and need space to ourselves or we prioritize individuals but my gosh it is so lonely). I have observed at least in the Northeast that despite hyper-individualism, there is a strong sense of civic participation (as is the case in democracies, even if they are only so in writing) so I wonder if the larger common areas reflect this. Or it could be worth looking at what we mean by "private" and at what level.
The UAE was traditionally a tribalistic society (as in the tribe is prioritized not only over the self but also over others) but this has in some ways shifted toward nationalism but there's still a dominant idea that one's family relationships are central and we need to protect the family's privacy and honor. So the traditional design emphasized privacy for the families from outsiders rather than privacy for individuals while having common spaces to connect with outsiders or at least extended family and family friends.
I have heard from Americans who grew up in the South (but correct me if I'm mistaken) that while hospitality is an important value in Southern culture, it can often be exclusive to particular groups of people.
All this has me reflect that dividing up cultures as "individualistic versus collectivistic" is overly simplistic.
Yes, I agree with you- it is overly simplistic to say individualistic/collectivist. But one starts somewhere to try to grapple with topics like this.
My experience of living in the US South was that the hospitality was only on the surface and often fake. Behind the veneer was an unspoken "now you'll owe me" covering whatever the interaction was. The so called hospitality was never about the needs of the guest but instead about what the host would get from the transaction.
I called the Southern US a "guess culture" because people would do things in the name of hospitality- often obviously reluctantly-and if you didn't read their minds correctly and return the hospitality in the way they - unspokenly - expected you to do there likely would be serious social consequences. But if you directly asked what they wanted in return- they'd get offended at that too.
And yes, certain groups of people are simply never ever accepted in the South. Non-English speakers aren't welcome for example.
In the Northern US I find things are much more direct. People's hospitality is more genuine and if they can't accommodate you they'll say so if they expect something in return they'll say so. There is more acceptance of many more kinds of people. Many different languages are spoken and are welcome in my Northern city for example.
The sense of personal space is also different in different parts of the US : in a cafe in the South someone will put packages, coats, hats on other chairs - sometimes using 3 chairs for one person's self and belongings. Here in a cafe in the North people contain self, coat, packages, hats on or under the chair in which they sit.
The use of space and the interactions within space is so different... I see the Southern US as (over simplifying again) more individualistic in the "I don't have to consider others around me" sense. The Northern US as (over simplifying again) in the "I need to consider others around me" sense.
I see this reflected in the architecture and the city design...and even in the road signs.
Interesting insights! I once ran into a research paper about loneliness/social isolation and how people perceive the extent to which their culture is egalitarian versus authoritarian and individualistic versus collectivistic (again also based on the respondents' perceptions of their cultures). It found that those who perceived their culture as egalitarian had the less loneliness compared to those who perceived their cultures to be either authoritarian collectivistic or authoritarian individualistic. But those who perceived their culture as egalitarian collectivistic had lower loneliness than those that perceived them as egalitarian individualistic. So I think the egalitarian aspect has people look outside of the boundaries of either individuals or particular groups even if one tends to lean towards the individual or collective which has me wonder about if that is what you named in your observations. Also, maybe it is about how "bounded" is the individual or collective being seen: does the collective include all humans or only particular groups and stops there? Does the individual include only self or respect for fellow individual selves one comes in contact with?
One thing I do slightly disagree with you having lived as a non-American of non-European descent in the Northeast is that while people seemed to be more verbally accepting of others than what I have heard about the South, systemically this was not necessarily the case (Boston was ranked as the nations most systemically racist in one year I believe)
Yes, I totally agree with you here too. All of the United States still has work to be done when it comes to being truly accepting of all people no matter their heritage or circumstances. The North also still has work to do on being accepting of women, disabled, elderly, LGBTQ etc. My experience in the Southern US was so much worse (about ethnicity, ability and gender) that the North, while not perfect seems much better by comparison. And that's not good enough.
I wish for a much more egalitarian society and that begins with changing the behavior of individuals ... and also changing the societal expectations placed on the individuals. It seems interrelated. If a society says "hate is not okay" the individual behaviors sometimes modify accordingly. In the North I think there's more pressure to at least appear more accepting of all kinds of people. In the South I saw more open pressure to join hate groups. I found that the dumbest thing in the South - the willingness of some to begin to hate people only because someone else told them to hate as a prerequisite to themselves being accepted into a group.
Such pondering aside- I do hope your day today is pleasant. 💚
Yes, you say so very well exactly what I've been thinking and wondering about!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!! I too think the loneliness aspect does indeed depend on how tightly or loosely one defines ones self, culture etc. I wrote in my sketchbook (which I shared on my newsletter today) "beauty knows when to say enough - barbarism demands always "more" and is never satisfied." and I wonder if this perception of what is 'enough' is somewhat related to the perception of the boundaries of individual/collective.
All I know more certainly is that I'm personally happier living in a community that has a larger, more inclusive, definition of the collective and more acceptance of a variety of individuals.
Hmm I haven't thought of the link between "enough" and how tightly one is within oneself or collective...will ponder on this for a bit more. I want to assign a day in the week where I catch up with newsletters including yours. I have now reached my quota for number of subscriptions so I can prioritize more meaningfully engaging with writers/creators like you. Thank you for blessing my space with your observations and curiosity!
And thank you for blessing my space too with your thoughts, observations and curiosity!!! I appreciate you!!! 💚💚💚
Where I live, the city is designed with tons of walkways which connects parks and neighborhoods. One can literally cross multiple cities in the entire metro just by walking or bicycle rides without risking their lives. This allows me to meet people in the walks and connect with nature.
Boston, where I was based in US, was similar that one can entirely navigate it on foot or bike! I really miss that.
Dubai is also a "younger" city so we can hope it will evolve one day into something more walkable as new neighborhoods get built.